Watch Me Confess!

A Group Confession in Support of Iran

hearmeconfess — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:20:49 +0000

A group of beautiful souls from Australia have recorded a group confession in support of the green movement:

You really can’t imagine how heart warming these videos are. When you live in Iran and feel trapped between the walls of propaganda media and internet censoring, it’s easy to feel lonely. Its easy to feel that nobody cares. Thank you for reminding us that there are people out there who care. In every corner of the world, there are beautiful hearts that care for each other, regardless of how ugly the world may seem.

Facebook Appears in Iranian Trials to Confess

hearmeconfess — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 07:03:10 +0000

After multiple mentions by Iranian officials of Facebook as being one of the criminal elements behind the post-election unrest, Facebook personally appeared in the latest round of trials today to confess. Iranian bloggers who took a picture of Facebook confessing uploaded the picture online:

The caption reads:

Parts of Facebook’s confessions in today’s trials:

I killed Neda Agha Soltan. Social sciences are really bad too! Mousavi is an American, he has written things in me that are anti-revolutionary, same with Karroubi, I’ll give you the names of all the greens that are my members, and right now an enormous spiritual transformation has occurred in me. I have a gentle interrogator that continuously increases my bandwidth!

(The last line reffers to rape in Iranian prisons)

Confessing with a guitar

hearmeconfess — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:26:55 +0000

Another poetic confession, this time with just a guitar:

I confess…

We are everywhere,

In memory of martyrs, we are Neda and Sohrab,

Resistant and hopeful, we are all together,

We are freeborn, and love Iran…

la la la la, la la…

The Angry Man Who Called Khamenei

hearmeconfess — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:13:55 +0000

A very angry man from the Netherlands has confessed to the very angry phone calls he’s been making to Iran, among other things…

WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE. DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

An Interrogation Session in Evin Prison

hearmeconfess — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:57:40 +0000

Most of our confessions so far have not featured the interrogators. However, we have now received chilling footage of an interrogation session in Evin prison. These images have been leaked from insiders and have reached us through Spain via this top secret YouTube channel. Hey you! I said its top secret, don’t click!

At the end of the video apparently a technical problem occurred and there is no news on what happened to the prisoner. Rumor has it that this violent creature is still at large on the streets of Tehran. We do not know if the interrogator is still alive.

The Confessions of a Son for his Jailed Father

hearmeconfess — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:37:18 +0000

Mehdi Saharkhiz has been an active member of the Iranian greens, especially well known for his genuinely passionate online efforts in tweeting, blogging, and video gathering for the pro-democracy movement in Iran. What else would you expect from someone whose Father is one of the amazing people whose integrity, honesty, and bravery has landed him in jail. Who knows what they are doing to Isa Saharkhiz right now to get him to “confess”. Meanwhile, Mehdi has his own confessions to present to the world, dedicated to his Father:

We support you Mehdi.

BBC & American Cheese Join Forces Against Iran

hearmeconfess — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:55:07 +0000

Weava, a twitter user from the UK sends in her completely honest, straight from the heart confessions which is clear she is NOT reading off of a prepared text written by interrogators

Now do you understand why the Supreme Leader calls the UK the most evil of them all?

The audio may be a little unclear for some so here is the transcript:

I am Weava from Twitter & I confess to being involved in a plot to start the Chenille Revolution.

I confess that I have hijacked the colour green for my nefarious purposes

I confess that I have been funding the BBC & all of their satanic reports

I confess that I have been using evil Twitter to corrupt the men & women of Iran

I confess that it is all my fault that there has been such a show of courage, cunning & commitment to peace – I stirred all of that up

I confess that the pizza made me do it with its evil American Cheese

I confess I did it because I was bored.

I confess

The Suspicious Portuguese…

hearmeconfess — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 15:32:15 +0000

While the Iranian government is busy pointing to some Western countries such as Britain, France, or the USA for devising a “velvet revolution” in Iran, a new video reveals yet again that the true perpetrators have gone unnoticed:

Indeed, the Portuguese have been suspiciously silent on the recent events in Iran…

Note: The scarf referred to as “Chafiye” in this video is introduced in Wikipedia as “Keffiyeh”. For Iranians this scarf became a symbol of the Iran-Iraq war and also the Basij. The Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, wears a “Chafiye” in most of his public appearances. Since these types of scarves have only recently become fashionable in Western countries, you could say Khamenei has been a step ahead of the fashion trends!

The Allure of the Persian…

hearmeconfess — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:23:52 +0000

Ever since we started this blog, we have seen many foreign agents “confess” to various green crimes they have committed in Iran. But what is it about Iran that attracts so much attention? What is so attractive about it? Is it the oil? Is it the strategic geopolitical position of the country? No. We have just received a shocking new confession that reveals the true reason behind foreign meddling:

Aah the power of cats…and the allure of Persian cats…

How is Jar Jar Binks Linked to Iran’s Green Revolution?

hearmeconfess — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:00:55 +0000

We have found him! The person who invented the character of Jar Jar Binks is the one behind Iran’s green revolution! Watch to learn who else helped him:

We may have just discovered one of the most sinister characters in history. World Wars I and II are OK, but Jar Jar Binks?! Come on!!

Also, we noticed that the interrogators made a mistake in writing his confession statement for him. Did you notice it?